Tips for future brides...

A place for St. Louis Brides & Grooms to brainstorm about their weddings

Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby winterbride08 » Tue Jan 20, 2009 3:39 pm

Glad we
-took a lot of photos beforehand. It was still special to see him at the ceremony.
-had wedding and reception at the same place with only 45 minutes inbetween, just enough to have a drink or two and finish up pics.
-booked a hotel for me and girls the night before.
-waited to take honeymoon, had more time to spend with OOT guests before they left
-Had FUN!!! I had more fun at my wedding than any other one I went too.


Wish we
-hired a DOC
-had more time for photos. We thought we would have plenty of time, but it goes by so quickly.
-Had no control but I really wished it had snowed, jsut to take some pics.

Except for those couple of things if I had to do it over again. I wouldn't really change anything
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby applesauce » Wed Jan 28, 2009 1:01 pm

What went right:

- Combo wedding and reception: both were at the Kemp Auto Museum. Being February, it was nice for the whole thing to be inside and warm.
- No down time for guests: I worked really really hard to make sure, there was a lot going on at our wedding (ceremony, cocktail time with slideshow, cars to look at, toasts, music performance 1, dinner, music performance 2, then the dancing/party started -- whew!). I've been bored at weddings before, and mine was non-stop action.
- Unique venue: we're not religious about much except cars, so this suited us well
- DOC: came with my venue and she knew everything top to bottom
- Pics before: obviously w/ a wedding-reception combo you can't do pics between
- NO KIDS. No one under 21 actually. I was hardcore about this rule and took a ton of crap for it, but it was worth every heartache.
- Cheap invitations: you can still make them look classy.
- DIY with my StlWed buddies - amazing and helpful!!
- Get flip flops for the reception

What went wrong:
- Get a professional to alter your gown, a well-meaning MIL even w/ years of sewing experience is a bad idea
- I wasn't specific enough about how I wanted my cupcake tower or candy buffet to look. The cupcakes looked ok in the end but it wasn't what I wanted. The candy buffet was just embarrassing - I let my aunt set it up and lied to her afterwards that it was beautiful.
- Not specific enough with my photog. Also, my family would NOT pay attention for photo time. Put someone mean, loud, and trustworthy in charge of rounding up the family/wedding party.
I have CDO. It's like OCD, but in alphabetical order as it should be.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby redroses » Wed Jan 28, 2009 6:17 pm

Yet another:

For the procession, I've always known I wanted my dad to escort my mom and same for FI's parents to walk in together - rather than having an usher and then the dad walking behind (for FI's parents)- I've always thought it was kinda sad seeing the dad tagging behind, even though I guess that is the official etiquette way to do it.

And I came up with the idea to have each of my brothers walk in their wives as part of seating of the family (before grandparent seating). They were each groomsmen and while their wives were not BMs, they've been in my family for 10+ years so I loved to include them in that way - gave them coursages too.
-Lisa

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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby 1977lindsay » Sun Feb 01, 2009 3:30 am

phew! this is all soooo helpful. i honestly never would of thought of some of this stuff. we weren't going to have a line after the service...i am thinking we just might. and my list of photo is starting now!

thanks again ladies...keep it coming!
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby LMC2008 » Sun Feb 15, 2009 12:05 pm

Now that I am 5 months out, I am able to think of so many other ideas...

Glad we:
-spent the night at the hotel the night before the wedding. It was so easy for my bridesmaids and I to wake up and be ready for hair and makeup to come to us. No stress there!
-bought champagne and food for the ladies while we were getting ready. We have some great pictures of that time of the day.
-planned something fun for the guys. They were drinking beer and playing rockband in their hotel room and I know there will be some great pictures of that as well.
-saw each other before the ceremony. It was so nice to have alone time before the craziness of the day began.
-chose the Jewel Box for our wedding ceremony. It was more beautiful than I could have imagined and we got so many compliments on our choice.
-wrote our own vows to each other and read them during our service. It was so nice to have such a personal touch to our ceremony.
-met with my rabbi each month before our wedding. This allowed him to get to know us as a couple and individuals and better prepared him for our personalized ceremony.
-hired a DOC that took care of setting up our reception room while we took pictures around Forest Park.
-spent money on drapings and lights in the ceremony room instead of chair covers and chargers.
-made our own invitations, programs, table numbers, menus, escort cards, etc. Although they took a lot of time and stress, we were so happy that they were one-of-a-kind. They were the personal touches that people truly remember.
-had StudioB at our wedding. The guests LOVED it and it was the first time anyone had ever seen anything like it.
-took dance lessons before our wedding day. Of course we messed up a lot but we had a blast learning new steps.
-hired a DOC that packed up all of the supplies after the reception. This could have been the worst time of the day but it ended up being less stress because we had people helping.
-changed out of my wedding dress into a comfy dress and hit the town with my friends and family. We were already on Washington Avenue and it was so great to continue the party after the reception was over.

Wish we:
-set up a timeline for pictures and locations. We got carried away at certain places and had to skip locations at the end because we ran out of time. We also were charged extra by the limo company for going over our time limit.
-had a timeline set to get pictures and video after the big day. We are over 5 months now with no word on either one. I wish we would have asked about this and put it in the contract.
-didn't bustle my dress right after the ceremony. I would have liked more time with it down for pictures.
-went over pronounciation with the band on last names. I spelled them all out phonetically but obviously, that still didn't work.
-drank more at our reception. I didn't have one drink at the ceremony! I also didn't have to go to the bathroom all day!
-had time to go around to the tables and say hi to everyone. We didn't want a receiving line but I wish we had figured something else out. There were some people that I don't even remember seeing.
-worn a bra instead of cups sewn into the dress. One of the cups detached and the dress didn't fit right for the rest of the day.
-would have chosen a more sturdy boutineer for the guys. They were all dead and wilting by the end of the ceremony.

Obviously, most of them are small but looking back, those are things I am happy we did or I wish we did!
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby mrs.breedlove » Wed Mar 18, 2009 2:09 pm

I'm glad I:
-brought flip flops, those heels came off the second the ceremony was over.
-had one 'go to' person for the day. A friend of mine was basically in charge the day of and I really didn't have to worry about anything.
-hid after the ceremony. My friend said that at her wedding they didn't want a line but so many people stopped them that they ended up having one. DH and I ran downstairs & hid to exchange gifts after the ceremony.
-didn't devote much time to the formal pictures, they ended up turning out fine even though it was "click, click... ok next". They just weren't at the top of my list.
-wore a flower/broch in my hair instead of a veil. I know some people thought it was weird but I'm just not a 'veil' person and I think what I wore went more along with the kind of wedding I was having.
-did ALOT of DIY projects. It made the end result more worth it and when you see all your hard work come together it makes it even that much better.
-drank and enjoyed EVERY SECOND of the reception. It goes by sooo fast and I partied hard all night long.
-did unity sand, we got soooo many compliments on this idea.
-had assigned seating. I liked having an idea where everyone was sitting. Plus I knew that no one would be sitting with someone they didn't like.

Wish I would of:
-checked postage before I made my invites. Apparently 6x6 squares cost $1 to mail!
-stayed more on top of time, by the time we got to the first picture spot the sun was almost setting & we didn't have very much time to get good shots.
-checked my makeup LOL Sounds like a no brainer but when I went to the bathroom I was so worried about getting back out to the party that I didn't look in the mirror & by the end of the night my makeup wasn't lookin so hot!
-told FFIL that he was saying the prayer. I told DH to ask his dad to do it and apparently it slipped his mind so when the DJ asked for FFIL to say the prayer it kind of caught him off guard woops!
-called the people who didn't rsvp myself. I gave FMIL a list of people from her family that didn't rsvp and apparently she just guessed at who would & wouldn't come. We had about 5 people show up at the wedding w/o rsvp'ing. Not a huge deal but my 'go to girl' of the day had a hard time finding seats for them since we had assigned seats. (Plus why would I give you a list if you weren't going to call and see if the people were coming or not??? I could of just guessed myself! I suppose I'm still a little upset by this :blush: )
-measured the pews. Apparently 2 ft. of ribbon wouldn't go around the pews at the church so my friends were cutting the ribbon in half & tying it on my decorations again like 30 minutes before the ceremony!

Other than a couple minor things the day was perfection. I couldn't of asked for anything better. Oh I am also glad I got everything wedding related done a week before the wedding. I had an amazing week before hand without having to worry about getting all the last minute things done!
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby Phlpns314JLF » Wed Mar 25, 2009 11:17 am

I was increidbly pleased with how my entire day turned out.

Some things I'm glad I did:
1. Didn't do some of the things we're "supposed" to have (i.e. favors, centerpieces); it kept my stress level down, kept us in budget, and nobody noticed they were missing.
2. Our unity sand ceremony. It was unique and something not a lot of people had seen; plus it gave me something really cool to put on a shelf.
3. Just let the day flow; I got P.O.ed one time all night because I was gettin' hungry and the reception hall was taking forever to start the toats.
4. Receiving line with just me and J after the ceremony. Thatway people didn't have to talk to my parents or his parents or peolpe in the BP who they didn't know.
5. Danced and talked with our guests at the reception. I had people mention to me that they appreciated that I sat down and chatted, even for only a few minutes.

Wish I had done:
1. Given the photog a few "must take" shots. I lvoe what we got, but we don't have any pics of the BP walking down the aisle, or of my dad walking me down the aisle, or of us entering the reception. Not a huge deal, because I'm pleased with what we have, but I would have changed that.
2. Budgeted a little differently and gotten a limo instead of using my grandpa's and my BM's mom's mini vans. It was fun, but I think it would have been more fun to have a big limo.

Overall,my biggest piece of advice is to NOT STRESS over the details and such. i have a tendency to get crazy about being on time and everything, but I made sure to relax that day and let everything run in its own time (as long as the wedding started on time). I was incredibly low key all day and enjoyed every minute of it!!
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03.14.09

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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby bride2009 » Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:58 am

Wish I could go back and relive my wedding day! Can't believe its over! I loved every minute of it even though it was rainy like crazy.

Glad I:
Did a receiving line with just DH and I, although alot of family held up the line when they got to my parents and dh parents to "catch up", anyways. :)
Didn't have anything decorating the isle. I didn't notice it missing and I don't think anybody else did. Money saved! :)
Went with the organ to play the "Bridal March", it is so powerful and everyone knows who is coming down the isle when it starts.
Went with a coworkers son-in-law for a dj. He only does it on the side but he did such a fantastic job. He kept things running smoothly at the reception and we got alot of compliments on him.

Wish I had:
Given my photographer the list of pictures I wanted. I forgot it so I didnt get all the pictures I wanted.
Let the bp know what I wanted bc some of them got antsy and wanted to leave and I wanted more pictures which ended up ticking me off and I had to yell at them! :)
Made a better play list and Do not play list for the dj. There were a few songs played that I can not stand but my fault, no big deal. Also, there were songs I wish were played.
Had someone deal with the reception hall decor. I ended up having to turn things on and re-arrange stuff bc no one knew about it. Like our head table and gift tables lights were not turned on for the speeches, my signature picture was in the frame still so no one was signing it and my cake was missing its black fabric around the bottom of it that my flower/decorations lady forgot to bring.
Bought other comfy shoes!!! I had counted on a friend to bring her slippers from her wedding but she ended up not being able to make it bc her daughter got terribly sick (my ring girl, btw). So I had nasty feet by the end because they had put sand on the floor for the polka's and waltz's. Ick!
A memory candle...I never got to it and wish I had.

Everything is really just little things I would change nothing that made the day go wrong. I didn't even notice half of the stuff until it was all over and I was going over things in my head. Just remember to enjoy that day and relax! Its the best day of the start of your new life.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby kandise3 » Sat May 23, 2009 8:36 am

The only thing I regret not doing is making the list of must take photos. I read it a million times on this site and I actually started one. But, I got sick the week of the wedding and it was one of the things that didn't make the trip on the day of. I didn't get any pics of me with the guys or him with my girls. Not a big deal, but I would have liked to have them. Our photographers were great and they did get every other shot I could imagine. We had our wedding and reception at the same place with about 45 minutes between and FI did not want to see me before the wedding. If we had more time, I know our photographer would have done it. He wanted to make sure we got enough of just "us".
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby nzbridetobe » Fri May 29, 2009 1:33 pm

I'm really glad that we

Bribed our son down the isle with a bottle. Ha...he was so so cute, and I'm still amazed he made it down the isle.
Had everything in one location
Had a small bridal party....so SO much easier, finiacially and stress wise.
Hired String Quartet and had a mix of classical and modern music played.
Hired DOC!!!!
Went with a smaller bakery cake and then had a kitchen cake to supplement it
Researched our vendors well, they made the day fantastic
Had a detailed list of pictures for family formals. We took some with immediate family prior to the wedding, and we took the rest during the cocktail hour. The DOC organized everyone for this, so it went really smooth and much quicker than I had thought.
Wrote our own vows, and personlized our ceremony
Had our wedding on a friday. Venue was cheaper and was easier to get the vendors that we wanted. It also meant that the whole weekend was occupied with wedding stuff. We had a lunch the day after but even with that people could just chill out on Sunday (and monday b/c it was a holiday weekend)
Bought the suits and wedding rings in Dubai (cheap, cheap, cheap gold!!!!)
Had a special dance that FI and I practiced. Right after we were announced into the reception by the DJ we immediatly proceeded to the dancefloor to do our first dance. We had the spotlight and attention of all the guests and doing it right away means we got it out of the way, so the rest of the reception we could just relax. Highly recommend doing it this way.
Had a sit down plated dinner as this broke up the speeches and helped the evening flow.



I wish we would have

remembered to bring the sparklers for the exit
remembered to put my FI backup buttonaire on for after the ceremony. It was a hot day and his rose began to fade after several hours of picture taking
Had another 30 mins to take photos before the ceremony. Ladies, it just goes sooooo fast. As it was we had about 3 hours prior to the wedding for photos and we could have easily done more. Oh, well!
Remembered to put on my comfy white flipflops during the ceremony
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby junebride » Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:49 am

Glad I:
-was very calm the morning of the wedding
-gave Clary (photographer) a detailed list of all the shots I wanted
-had a choir sing instead of just a soloist
-drank lots and lots of water!
-took in everything...snapped a few shots with my own camera
-wore both my short and long veil down the aisle at the last minute
-had makeup and hair come to my home (although I found out later that the 2nd stylist charged the girls more than the amount I was told)
-had breakfast catered the morning of for both bride and groom
-had Krissi and Amanda S. from Proposing Dreams. Krissi even went back to my home after dinner to get my suitcase since it was forgotten.
-late night snack of White Castle hamburgers, cheeseburgers and Jack in the Box tacos
-kicked out wedding crashers from another floor
-allowed spouses on bus
-made it for the entire cocktail hour
-only closed the bar from 7:00-7:30
-had a lounge, lighting, etc
-had a photobooth (everyone loved it!!!) I love looking at the pictures in our book.
-had a candy buffet(and TONS of candy), and gave control over to the wedding planners to set up--it was a hit!
-did not put out candy boxes and bags at the beginning so it did not get ravaged.
-red balloons for wedding party pics
-parasols for the girls
-our RB's and FG went down the aisle...if they did not go, oh well. The RB's (age 4 and 2) would not wear their bouts and the 4 yr old would not carry down the gorgeous pillow I made....oh well.

Wish I had:
-gotten dressed sooner. we made it on time to the church but did not have time to take pictures with the BM's before
-remembered to just get a shot of Groom and Parents and Bride and Parents. Also, just bride and groom with his parents and then with my parents
-also wish I would have gotten a shot with just my mom
-wish we would have done more shots with the RBs and FG
-put us first instead of worrying about wedding party getting their vehicles to the reception. This cut into picture taking time and prevented us from going to a carnival
-given DJ a play list, given the DJ a more extensive do not play list...sorry the "Barbie girl" song is not my cup of tea
-wish we would have gone straight to the carnival after formal pictures in the church
-put someone in charge of taking candids with my camera...then I would be able to enjoy some real moments instead of just the memory
-picture with the wooden letters I made for the church doors. When we went to do this picture, the letters were missing...later found out that a well intentioned groomsman put them in the bus storage and no one knew
-taken a cab instead of waiting for the WOW shuttle. seriously ridiculous.
-made it around to all of our guests. we only got to about 4 tables before we had to start dances. Most guests came up to us, but I should have made more of an effort
-NOT invited the greeters on the bus with their date/spouse
-reviewed the sign board before it went to print. I messed up....people at table 17 were listed at 7, people at 15 were listed for 5...ugh.
-NOT worn fabulous shoes to the RD...gave me blisters on the top of each big toe...made the pedicure the next day so painful and my wedding shoes painful
-NOT had so much fun at the RD....good thing it was on Thursday! ;)
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby Steph1673 » Mon Jul 27, 2009 7:09 pm

junebride wrote:Wish I had:
-taken a cab instead of waiting for the WOW shuttle. seriously ridiculous.


This is probably my one and only regret of my wedding!
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby redroses » Tue Jul 28, 2009 8:34 am

Talked to a bride who had used my photographer and been through the whole process (got final product). Would have saved me a lot of aggrevation and disappointment.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby vickiandjon » Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:35 pm

This thread has lots of great info, that I wanted to make sure to add my two sense on here for future brides. Some of these tips have been said over and over, but when I was planning it was the ones that were heavily repeated that I really took into consideration.

Glad I Did:
- A receiving line at the church. My Husband and I then didn't feel the pressure do visit all the tables and talk to everyone at the reception. We just danced and had fun. We mingled, but I know that we didn't talk to everyone at the reception and I didn't care. :)
- Did hair and makeup at my girlfriends house. This was one thing that I wanted to do especially after reading on here so much about how others really like this. It was so much more comfortable and relaxing. Also, then the girls didn't feel pressured into having their hair done if they didnt want to. We had breakfast, laid on the couches, it was perfect.
- Got Pashmina's for my girls. It was slightly chilly (not too bad) especially later in the day and I know they appreciated it.
- Didn't worry about doing some of the traditional stuff like bouquet toss, garter toss, cake cutting. They weren't important to us and it gave us more time to dance and have fun since we weren't worrying about those things.
- We did and Candy Bar and Dessert Bar. We got a LOT of compliments on it and for most of the guests it was something they hadn't seen before (just goes to show that even though we all talk about weddings here and know all about them, most people haven't seen the things that we hear about every day from the other brides on here). And it was FUN.
- What I wanted! I wanted a fall theme, with leaves, and trees on my invites and I did it. I didn't let anyone talk me out of anything.
- As said above, I had a fall themed wedding and I put several personal touches throughout the day. My friend designed my invites and programs with a tree on it, I made my own centerpieces, I painted letters that said Fall in Love, etc. and it made the day special. Plus I got a lot of compliments.
- Ordered Chair Covers. This was a last minute thing, literally 2 days before the wedding. We were dropping off decorations at Hendris and they were set up for a Friday wedding with Chair covers and we decided right there that we needed them. They looked really pretty and was worth it because I know we would have regretted not doing it.
- MOST IMPORTANTLY - I didn't worry or stress AT ALL on the day of my wedding. I just enjoyed every aspect of it. I didn't think "is the florist going to be on time, is the reception going to be set up right" I didn't care, because it didn't matter. It was my day, our day and I just had fun. It goes by so fast. Also, this goes to show that those of us who can't afford a DOC, that it really doesnt matter. Things will work out, plus you do have bridesmaids and friends that can help if needed.

Wish I would have:
- Hired a Videographer. This is something I dismissed right away. I thought, I will never watch it and I didn't want to waste my money BUT the day goes by so fast and there are parts you miss because you haven't walked down the aisle yet or you were in the bathroom or something. I would really love to watch my day again, I already miss it.
- Would have been I bit more honest with my makeup lady. I told her that I wanted a natural look because I don't wear much makeup but I guess I do because I wear more makeup then what I did on my wedding day. It was still pretty but I think I would have wanted a bit more. On this note do a trial. I didn't have time because I booked makeup the week before, but it would have helped.
- Had a bridesmaid or someone be in charge of my lipstick or gloss. I never reapplied, not once, because I don't usually wear anything on my lips but looking at pictures, I wish I would have.

Thats all for now. It was an amazing day!!! Savor every moment of planning and of course the day, because it goes by soo fast.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby jmk004 » Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:10 pm

Thanks so much! As someone who is newly engaged and feeling overwhelmed, this is really helpful.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby mrsericae1 » Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:00 pm

great advice!
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby craigandsarah2010 » Wed Feb 24, 2010 4:27 pm

Thanks everyone! I am newly engaged and this helps. I'm going to print this out for my new "wedding binder" i just started.

Thanks!
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby Melissas77 » Thu Apr 01, 2010 5:22 pm

Great advice, thanks.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby esaxcana » Wed Apr 07, 2010 1:44 pm

Glad I Did:
- Actually had a ceremony and reception :) I am in my mid 30's and DH just pushed 40. It is his 2nd marriage and we've been together 6 years. It was assumed we would elope. But we've gone through some pretty big struggles to get to where we are today with help from many family and friends. The wedding reunited us all, it was happy and joyous and ... wow, I wouldn't have changed this decision for the world!
- Dismissed guests pew by bew. It was nice to see everyone since many were not going to be able to make the reception.
- Got my hair coloring done 3 weeks before wedding. It was AWFUL. The hairdresser had a new booth and it was dark. She ended up making my natural color 2 shades darker and the red highlights looked fire engine red. Probably would have been fun if it was not for my wedding!!. Luckily I had plenty of time to travel to my sister's trusted colorist and she saved the day.
- Prepared everyone for snow. There's been snowstorms the weekend of my wedding 2 years straight. Nobody believed I kept bringing it up... maybe I cursed the snow to come but it was actually beautiful. Snowed the night before and early morning, warmed up drastically by the time ceremony started and was able to take some awesome photos in the snow (even with droopy tulips!)
- Ditto: "Didn't worry about doing some of the traditional stuff like bouquet toss, garter toss, cake cutting. They weren't important to us and it gave us more time to dance and have fun since we weren't worrying about those things." We did do cake cutting because the cake was gifted to us by my aunt. The rest was not in our element. We did do a dollar dance, my Mexican side of the family wouldn't let it go and it was great to spend that time with my uncles and cousins.
- Chose colors. Garnet & Tangerine. Was told by many people (vendors, strangers and guests) that it's been a while since they've been to a wedding where one of the colors was not black or brown and how they loved it.
- DIY'd a lot. Invites, Menus, centerpieces (fifty flowers), hair-pieces. Made my veil out of what remained of my mother's. I knew buying these items from a vendor just the way I wanted them would have cost a fortune more.
- Let my MOH and mother take care of everyone once the day started. The ceremony coordinator tried to stress me out about a few things and they graciously shooed her out the door. I successfully went the day unstressed!
- Took outdoor pictures. My photographer was a friend of my mother's and he said it's important no matter what it's like outside since it is your day and (hopefully) your only one and you should remember it for all that it was. They were great!
- Let everyone bring their kids. They had glow necklaces and coloring books and that made them feel important enough not to act up ;)

Wish I would have:
- Been more precise with the DJ. The guests had fun but there were times the dance floor was empty. I know some of the music that cleared it were my choices but he played them AFTER the people who would have danced had left. So there I was alone dancing... haha!
- Had a better pair of backup shoes - they ended up being more uncomfortable than my pumps.
- Brought tissue. Stupid father/daughter dance... had to run to the restroom to clear myself up.
- Picked someone dependable as a hostess. I wanted to include some of my troubled cousins because it was a way to remind them of how much they mean to me. However, they did not come through for me. I should've known, but hey. Wasn't a biggie but the people who ended up being my hostesses were not on our programs.
- Danced more with my new hubby. We spent most of our time with guests.

I could probably add more but most everything went well thanks to the advice of previous posters!!!
Jodi & Mario
March 20, 2010

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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby Phlpns314JLF » Thu Apr 22, 2010 7:52 am

I don't know if this was mentioned but one thing I wish we'd done is WEAR SUNSCREEN. You don't think about it in March, but some of my paler skinned ladies were a little red at the ceremony (we did photos before the wedding).
J.L.F. + J.W.H.
03.14.09

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