Tips for future brides...

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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby krahlk » Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:34 pm

Great to read all of these! I am definitely going to have a 'must have' list for the photographer!

I definitely agree with the whole invitation thing, I ordered our save the dates from Zazzle and I'm doing our invites on Vistaprint. I just can't spend loads of money on something people are going to turn around and throw away. (We are putting a recycle symbol stamp on the back so that people will hopefully throw away in their recycle bin)

We are doing a 5 hour open bar, I don't want anyone going up and drinks are cut off...the only favors we are doing are Jordan almonds (Italian tradition) and my FI aunt is bringing Italian cookies.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby sarasel » Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:43 pm

Wish I would have:

Made a list of photos that were MUST TAKE

Allowed more time between getting ready and the ceremony for the pictures -- we did the pictures first and we didn't have enough time. We left about three hours but it goes really fast and we didn't have ANY time to do the family photos before the ceremony like I wanted, so I looked crazed in all those photos.

That said, I'm so glad we:

Did the ceremony and reception back to back. It really kept things moving

Hired a band instead of a DJ or using an IPOD like I originally planned. The live band was so fun for everyone

Actually DANCED at the wedding instead of going around and trying to talk to everyone. Yes, I didn't get to talk to every person, but DH and I combined DID talk to everyone, so that's enough. Plus I got to dance the night away.

Stayed at a hotel the night before the wedding but in different rooms. It gave me more girl time with my MOH.
Sara, John & JC III
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby bguye » Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:17 pm

What a good post!!! I'm glad:

A. We had hair and makeup come to our home. And since I had WAY to much fun at the rehearsal dinner I was really glad I didn't have to go anywhere.
B. One of my bridesmaid brought food, decorations and booze to my house the day of- I never even had to think about it. I asked her to do it and she took care of it. They made it special.
C. I was just happy. Who cares? Once you are there and it is the day of LET GO! Sit on the floor in your wedding dress, drink (not to much) and have the best time of your life.
D. DANCE, DANCE DANCE and drink (if thats your thing) I danced....I didn't talk to everyone...I tried but IT WAS MY WEDDING - NOT ANYONE ELSES - ALL ME (and Jon)
E. Did pics before wedding - we had the BEST time and it took NOTHING away from seeing one another when I was walking down the aisle.
F. That wedding and reception were at the same place at the same time.
G. I had the most amazing A, B, C list - you need it and you need someone you trust to be in charge of everything the day of the wedding. Hire a DOC if you need to. I was able to have an amazing friend take care of my ABC list. She was aware I was anal and she took care of everything!!


What I wish I would have done differently:

A. Hired a photog that fit our personality. (I will refrain from going into details)
B. I wish Jon and I had spent the night before away from one another...Jon was at our house when I was getting my hair and makeup done...I was glad to wake up with him but I wish there would have been a ittle bit of surprise he saw me for the first time.
C. That I would have gotten about 20% less favors than I did. I had 150 guests and 140 koozies and I should have gotten less.....I have TONS of koozies left over ....anyone want a "Jon and Betsy" koozie???????????? I have pink and black!! :)
D. Stressed about 30% less than I did.
E. I wish I would never have worried that doing something different was going to be wrong. This is your wedding. It isn't going to be like everyone elses wedding and frankly, it is not supposed to be. Ultimately; I doubt a lot of people would want my wedding but it was my wedding and it was a TRUE reflection of me. AND I LOVED IT. ...I'm just a little flashy, I can't help it!


:queen: :queen: :queen: :queen: :queen: :queen: :queen: :queen: :queen:
Betsy and Jon
September 19, 2008


~a wedding is a three ring circus of love~
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby Stl08bride » Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:39 pm

Glad that we:
-made every decision for ourselves, and no one else, bc our wedding day really reflected us as a couple.
-wrote our own ceremony; we got so many compliments on how personal it was and unlike any ceremony people had attended, and it meant more to DH and I, since we took the time to sit down and personalize it (it helped that we didn't get married in a church and our minister is a friend).
-that I was neurotic and e-mailed Clary (photographer) a zillion examples of photos, bc it showed her just how much detail we wanted (she got great shots of all our food, for example, since she knew beforehand that we wanted them)
-that I layed all the little detail things out on my hotel room dresser, that we wanted pics of (rings, my jewelry, purse, shoes, flowers, etc), bc Clary saw them and took gorgeous pics of them
-had a DOC
-attended the last 30 min. of our cocktail hr. to mingle, so we didn't feel like we had to go table to table; we were able to spend the whole night on the dance floor
-had a photobooth, it was a huge hit, and people are still telling us it was the coolest thing they've seen at a wedding (it's true that what we all think everyone's doing... most of your guests will have never heard, or seen before)
-DIY several projects, it was thrilling to see all our work come to life, it added to the personalization, and our guests loved the extra touches
-made a photo guestbook of our e-pics, for guests to sign yearbook style... it's so much more special that having a random 'wedding' book with a list of names, that we'll never look at. People wrote some sweet, hilarious things, that I know we'll love looking back at.
-that DH and I pulled each away from it all, several times throughout the night, stepped back, and took it all in. It really does go by (snap of the fingers) like that, and those moments of looking at how it all looked pulled together, and watching our guests laugh and dance, and going outside alone and talking for a few moments... those are the ones we remember the most vivid.
-honestly, the biggest thing, I'm just glad I was neurotic with all my vendors, bc everything was pretty much exactly how we wanted it, bc I checked and re-checked that all our vendors understood what we wanted, and would deliver on it. I didn't worry what they thought of my drilling it into their heads :), and it payed off! (I was nice about it, I swear!)


Urgh! My #1 'wish I could go back and change' thing... was my own fault!
The morning of, I felt like I had plenty of time, so I took my time getting dressed, (which was relaxing), but then by the time we started taking pics of me and my girls, then me and my family... the time zoomed by, and we kind of ran out of it sooner than I wanted. But, to add to that, I apparently was a head case, bc I totally forgot to take my girls and Clary to the second location I wanted pics at, and the 5 parasols I had bought (that would have made the cutest, dang pics) sat up in my room, bc I not only completely forgot about them, but I forgot to even tell anyone else about them... so they never left their box! I kick myself every time I see a cute BM photo with parasols. But, if that's all I can complain about... I'll take it! It's just annoying that as anal as I was about everything... I spaced on those 2 things. With that said though, I was on cloud 9, bc I didn't have a care in the world, and I wouldn't change that, so...

-I didn't even think about what we (me and my girls) were going to eat all day before the 4:00 ceremony, and somehow I completely forgot to bring champagne, fruit, snacks for the morning of, like I had planned.

Which leads me to: I wouldn't have let 4 people stay at our house for 3 days leading up to the wedding. We were trying to save our friends money, since they traveled to be there, but it left me with no time to do any of the last minute stuff, and it was just stressful. I would have paid for their hotel rooms, to get them out of our hair the Wed, Thurs, Fri. before the wedding! :)
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby bride2009 » Wed Nov 19, 2008 10:37 am

Let me just say this is one of the best posts ever developed on here. With all the opinions we each have and personal touches you put into your wedding, all the "glad we" and "wish we's" are going to help out soo much! I have been clueless on some stuff when it comes to planning my wedding and I am making sure I save this post to look back on! Thanks girls!!
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby baseballbride » Wed Nov 19, 2008 12:44 pm

Some people may disagree, but in retrospect, when in doubt about inviting someone, I wish we would not have invited them. We likely invited about 20 people solely because we felt pressured to do so b/c of professional connections or because they were in the same social circle as someone else we invited. Literally 15 of those 20 said they would be there and they did not actually show. AHH!
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby kjm26 » Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:49 pm

kt12883 wrote:baseball bride thank you for this post! this is awesome! keep all the info coming!

Thanks everyone!

Agreed!!!
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby Pamela41208 » Fri Nov 21, 2008 4:32 pm

i wish someone would have just told me to stop and take it all in. i slowed down. i even paused but i didn't stop and it flew by so fast. way too fast.

i wish i would have danced more. i talked way too much. we had something similar to Studio B and i spent a lot of time there but still... i thin i only danced to like 5, maybe 10 songs...

i wish i would have given our videographer suggestions for music. the song for our online slideshow was terrible (nickelback, i hate, and it was Faraway, which didn't apply to us at all.) they songs in the actual video weren't bad... just not our choice/style. DH and i had "celebrate" on our band veto list and it somehow still found it's way to stick with us. you don't think about giving your videographer songs you like/dislike. (i feel like i should have maybe been asked)

eitherway- i am so glad we have video of our special day. we've actually watched it quite a few times.
I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt. It says, "I want to be formal but I'm here to party."

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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby seberu » Sat Nov 22, 2008 5:17 pm

I'm sure I'll have more, but this is the one that is sticking out the most:

I wish I had explained to my sister (the Matron-of-honor) how the wedding pictures were going to go down (she was married 10 years ago). She is of the old school way of thinking, which is, take formals and then you are done taking pictures. So when we were done with formals, she went to look after her kids. She didn't realize that we were going to go and take fun pictures with the wedding party so some one had to go find her which ate up time.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby sarasel » Sat Nov 22, 2008 6:16 pm

Just thought of another one. I wish I wouldn't have freaked out so much about the invites/stamps/rate of response cards coming in. This was my BIGGEST source of stress for the wedding by far and it was totally not really worth it. Still some people that responded yes didn't come so the count wasn't "perfect" like I wanted it to be to save money.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby Chilli'sgirl » Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:42 pm

I am soo glad that we did a wedding a little out of the norm. We got married outside at the Butterfly House and had our reception right after also at the Butterfly House. Soooo many people told us our wedding was the most unique and most beautiful they had been to. Even DH's DAD commented on how everything was sooo amazing and I did a good job planning and he usually doesn;t talk about stuff like that :) I was glad we had a different wedding.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby sarasel » Wed Nov 26, 2008 9:52 am

Another one...

I wish I would have had my MOH do her OWN hair and makeup. I thought it would be a nice treat for her to have her makeup and hair professionally done, but we didn't gather together hair and makeup ideas beforehand. Instead, she acted like she was really flexible and just told the girls to do whatever they wanted.

She ended up unhappy with how she looked because she didn't look like herself. And I felt horrible that she was unhappy. Plus I spent money I didn't need to spend...she would have felt a lot more comfortable had she done her own look.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby rtr1203 » Wed Dec 03, 2008 3:33 pm

Glad we:

1)Hired a DOC for the cermony
2)Planned a majority of the details in advance
3) Had fun and enjoyed the entire day!

Wish we'd:

1)Had a receiving line at the reception
2) Had more time for pictures in and around the church before and after the ceremony.
3)Had a plan for what to do with my veil after the ceremony. Planned to take it off but did not plan what to do with it.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby bellevegas2pdx » Tue Dec 09, 2008 10:22 pm

* Don't let the wedding get bigger than you and/or your relationship.
* Take time off from all things wedding at least once a week
* No one will be as excited about your wedding as you so don't let it get you down
* Schedule a couples massage a few weeks before
* Take a sleeping pill or have one handy the night before
* Make a "must take" list of photos for the photographer so you're sure not to miss any important shots
* Don't forget about the guys the day of. The girls all brought food to the getting ready room and I neglected to feed the guys. They were all hungry and nervous (ie. didn't have champagne like us to calm the nerves)
* I highly recommend an herbal detox a month or so before- it worked wonders on my complexion, sleeping habits, and weight loss
* Let those planning your shower know what you might like. You think sometimes that friends/family know, but they don't...
* Be prepared to "let go" on the big day- it will all be worth the planning, even though it's a struggle to get to the big day. Something will go wrong- it makes for good stories.
* Don't expect RSVPs by the deadline- leave some cushion because most people don't reply on time or not at all and you have to chase them down
* Our wedding was a very happy day for our parents, but also leaves them a little sad. Be prepared for some 1 on 1 time with them and let them know how much they mean to you.
* If you are having a wedding party, provide a bag for them to put their things in so they don't have to carry them
* Don't let the photographer lead you. Lead him/her.
* Start the day earlier than you think you need to so you stay on time
* Be prepared to be VERY tired after the wedding...you may need a Red Bull to keep the celebration going :)
* Don't hesitate to reach out to friends when the planning gets to be too much- especially ones that have gone through it!
* Love every minute of the process, because when it's gone- you'll miss it.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby baseballbride » Tue Dec 09, 2008 11:03 pm

Those are great tips! I think they really help to brings things down to earth.

I have thought of a few more to share:
1- Consider getting a facial 1-2 weeks before the wedding. I got one more for relaxation instead of a deep cleaning. The nice part was they zapped a few small blemishes with an electronic tool and it made them disappear in two days.

2- Kids- think twice about inviting them :-) I only invited immediate family's kids (about 8 total) but it definately impacts the dance floor when kids are dancing. I love them and glad they were there, but it does change things.

3- DJ/Music - This is so important. I just went to a wedding and realized that a great DJ makes a huge difference. Before that, I just thought all DJs were basically the same, but now I regret not researching that more.

4-Not sure if it is ethical, but I would consider giving the venue a slightly lower number than you expect. They will make extra food, and I think it is fair to assume not 100% of guests will actually attend. We saved a few hundred bucks by doing this.

5-Lighting is key! Even 6 uplights can make a big impact for not much money.
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby Steph1673 » Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:20 pm

We went without a DOC and it really all went fine EXCEPT for when the reception was over.

You may think your immediate family and DH's immediate family would stick around and take extra things home in their cars, but THEY WON'T... unless you ask of course. And we didn't. I planned out every little detail besides this and it caused undue stress at the end of the night for us and my parents.

So if you go without a DOC, make sure someone is gathering and transporting all of the following at the end of the night:

Leftover Favors
Your gifts/card box
Flower arrangements (they are yours when it's all over! Don't expect guests to take them unless you tell them too, none of ours did.)
We brought in Champagne and had TWO CASES left (oops! someone had to carry that)
Anything else that's yours (bowls/vases that held matches, napkins, etc.)
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby redroses » Tue Dec 16, 2008 6:17 pm

I was just at the post office and thought of another wish I would have:

Done a test mailing of my DIY invitations to myself. Then I would have known that a part of my response card was falling off!
-Lisa

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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby bllr29 » Thu Jan 08, 2009 4:29 pm

This is so helpful! Thanks for all the advice!
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby Steph1673 » Thu Jan 08, 2009 4:38 pm

bllr29 wrote:This is so helpful! Thanks for all the advice!


You are getting married in Bee Tree Park?? How awesome. I grew up near there :-)
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Re: Tips for future brides...

Postby nls898s » Fri Jan 09, 2009 4:39 pm

MissW2BMrsA wrote:
LMC2008 wrote:I wish I would have given my photographer more specific pictures to take. I have a feeling that there aren't many pictures out of reception decor.


I'm so glad to hear this Lauren. I already have a page of "must takes" generated for my photographer! (Including some GREAT ideas I got from your wedding!!) ;) ;)



Mary,
You are on top of it! We need to get together soon!

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